


Bachelor

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis RPS
Genre: Closeted Character, M/M, Open Marriage, Self-Denial, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-16
Updated: 2007-09-16
Packaged: 2018-01-16 05:55:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1334509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David wasn't sure what he'd expected for his bachelor party, but a Gay Club wasn't it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. David

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sonadorita](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=sonadorita).



> Mention of past incidental David/Vincenzo. Gay!Joe/Repressed!David. This is entirely a work of fiction.

"You've got to be kidding," David said.

"What?" Vincenzo asked innocently.

David wasn't sure what he'd expected for his bachelor party, but a Gay Club wasn't it. He wanted to protest, but they joked and encouraged and really, who the hell cared? He could (and would) blame them if anyone found out.

Unfortunately they wouldn't leave it at a few drinks. They talked about who would be his type, and Vincenzo was grinning at him in a way that was unsettling. It had been over twenty years ago. At this point what happened that night was probably more legend than actual memory.

In the end he got up in the faint hope that they'd leave him in peace for the rest of the evening.

He took a look around until his eyes fell on someone sitting alone at the bar. White shirt, so thin that it was a bit transparent, old-looking jeans, and dark hair that stood up more than Flanigan's if that was even possible.

David decided to ask him to dance, because if this guy sat there alone, there was a chance he'd say "Thanks, but no thanks" and even if he didn't, he could dance for a second, if only for his tormenting friends.

He tapped the arm of the guy at the bar.

"Would you like to danc—" The question died on his lips when the guy turned around.

What the fuck was Flanigan doing here? Maybe this was a setup and they'd told him about it, but Joe's eyes were widening in surprise too, so he hadn't known. He just...hung out in Gay Clubs? Maybe he just liked the atmosphere or the drinks or wanted to avoid pushy female fans.

"Yes," Joe said.

"What?" David asked, because his mind was still reeling.

"I'll dance with you."

David couldn't believe how calm Joe seemed to be. He himself felt like shouting out. Defending himself that he was only here because his friends had dragged him here. And questions. Because he still didn't know what exactly was going on. He hadn't been prepared for this, and he didn't know what to do.

He kept staring at Joe until Joe looked down and then with a short resigned smile simply turned back to the bar.

David looked at the back of his head. He knew that he could walk away and neither of them would ever have to mention it again, but he was rooted to the spot. He couldn't just let this go. Something had happened here. He was here for his bachelor party, but Joe... Freak out or not, David couldn't let Joe think that he'd somehow exposed himself. Because he couldn't see an immediate reason for Joe to be here. He wanted to give him the chance to explain. And if there was nothing to explain, he wanted to let him know that it was okay. That he wouldn't hold it against Joe.

He tapped Joe's arm again.

Joe turned back to him.

"I'll dance with you," David said stupidly.

A small smile formed on Joe's lips. "Are you sure?"

David rolled his eyes, then grabbed Joe's arm and dragged him a few steps towards the dance floor, before letting go, hoping that Joe would follow him.

David looked towards the table his friends were sitting at, but he couldn't see it from here. And then Joe was there right in front of him. He looked at David serenely and waited.

It was a slow song and around them couples were dancing closely. David carefully lifted one hand and let it hover near Joe's waist.

He couldn't touch him. Part of him was waiting for someone to jump out and yell "Gotcha!". This was just surreal.

Then Joe put his hands on David's waist and pulled him close.

David managed to suppress a yelp. This was really ridiculous. He'd kissed guys. On screen and as a joke. And back that night. How hard could it be to dance?

He settled his hands stiffly on Joe's arms.

Joe moved forward, pushed his hands onto David's ass and leaned close enough that David could feel his breath in his ear. "Relax."

The word sent a shiver down his spine, but he forced himself to take a deep breath and then moved his hands up around Joe's neck.

Joe pulled back so that they looked at each other, heads close enough to almost touch.

They moved slowly, but the thoughts in David's mind were hectic. He just couldn't wrap his mind around it. Joe Flanigan, happily married father of three, had his hands on David's ass, and there was nothing of the panic that David had felt since they'd entered. How could he be so calm?

"What..." he began when he couldn't keep quiet any longer, but then he couldn't really ask Joe what he was doing here, because what if it was what it looked like? It wasn't David's business really.

"I come here sometimes," Joe answered.

So not an accident. Not just research for a role or his car breaking down nearby.

"David, I'm gay."

David stopped dancing. "No, you're not."

Joe snorted. "Yes, I am and I think I know better than you."

"But Katherine."

Joe looked at him for a moment. "She knows."

David didn't know what to say to that. It just made no sense.

"She's okay with it. _We_ 're okay with it."

David just kept staring at him.

Joe began to move again and David joined him. He became very aware of Joe's body against his.

"Why are you here?" Joe asked.

"Bachelor party. Friends thought it would be...fun I guess."

Joe just nodded. He leaned forward until they were dancing cheek to cheek.

David could have whispered in his ear, but he had nothing to say at all.

He held onto Joe, one hand gliding into his soft hair.

Joe pulled him closer and their groins were pressing against each other. David couldn't help the slightly harsher breath that escaped his mouth.

His grip on Joe's head tightened and he wanted to lean forward and take the earlobe in front of him in his mouth.

God, what was he thinking? No matter what the others said, no matter that he'd had drunken sex with Vincenzo all those years ago, he wasn't gay.

They kept dancing and David tried both not to think and to remember everything about this moment. It was...an experience, that's what it was. He loved making new experiences, taking a glimpse into other people. That's why he was an actor, because he had too much life for just David Hewlett. And this was just the opportunity to feel something new. Just that.

The music stopped and something faster came up.

Joe pulled back. "So I guess, you'll want to return to your party now?" he asked neutrally.

David knew what he should say. 'Yeah. Thanks for the dance. See you at the wedding.' But the words wouldn't pass his lips. Instead he looked at Joe and once again marveled how in control he seemed to be while David felt totally out of his depth for once.

They just looked at each other for a while, and David was vaguely aware that people were dancing around them and how stupid they had to look, when Joe began to lean forward.

He took his time, more than enough time for David to pull away, to signal in any way that he didn't want this. But when Joe's lips eventually touched his, David pushed against them, because he did want it. He vaguely thought "experiences" and then it was only Joe's mouth against his.

Their mouths opened up. _I've never kissed another guy like this._ Joe's tongue pressed gently in and then nothing was gentle anymore as David just pressed back and his hands gripped Joe's head and his arm and memories of kisses flew faintly by in his mind. _Better than that, that, that._

He felt light-headed suddenly. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen, but everything around him seemed to move in a blur. 'He's making me fly,' David thought irrationally and then he felt a wall against his back and Joe pressed against his front from head to toe, his hands holding David's face as he kept kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

Tomorrow. When he'd fly back to get ready for his wedding. David slowed down the kiss, a compromise between running away as fast as he could and staying like this forever.

Eventually Joe pulled away, and he looked dazed, but only a bit. "Can you...?" he asked.

"Can I what?" David asked, because he had no idea what Joe was talking about.

"Have you talked to Jane? 'What happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party.' That kind of thing?"

David stared at him, and then it suddenly crashed down on him.

Joe wanted to have sex with him. He wanted to... David couldn't finish the thought, but his vivid imagination provided snippets of Joe on his knees lips wrapped around David's cock. Joe on his back below him. Joe behind him, hands on David's dick and his cock...

"No," David said, trying to breathe. It wasn't strictly true, because Jane had said she simply didn't want to hear about it. So he could. Only he couldn't. Because...

Joe was gay. It seemed like a ridiculous revelation, when he'd already told David that he was and they'd had their tongues down each other's throat, but it hadn't quite been real until now when Joe was offering...

David couldn't accept this. Because he wasn't gay. He didn't have sex with guys, youthful drunken one-night-stand notwithstanding.

"No," he said again, hating how shaky his voice was.

Joe nodded and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Still he took a step back and God, David missed him, but no, this was...this was as far as this could go. It had already gone too far.

"Thank you," he said.

Joe nodded again. "Any time, Hewlett."

It was strange to hear his name, because it made it so real that Joe was his colleague and friend, not just some guy in a Gay Club.

David didn't quite know what else to say, so he didn't say anything.

Joe leaned forward and brushed his lips against David's cheek. "Have fun. I'll see you on Saturday."

And then he was gone as if he'd never been there, as if it had all been a dream and David had woken up in a crowd of people who were dancing and would never know what just happened.

~~

He couldn't sleep. The flight wouldn't leave until nearly noon. It _was_ his bachelor party after all. Saying good-bye to single life, although he hadn't really been single for a long time. He and Jane were a couple for so long now, even if not yet on paper.

Joe was married for over 10 years now.

He still couldn't wrap his head around it. _David, I'm gay._ It couldn't be. David had thought that he wanted exactly what Joe had in his personal life. A wife, kids, the perfect family. Except that it wasn't that. It wasn't what David had thought it was, what everyone thought it was.

And he still didn't understand it.

He turned around in his bed once more and finally gave up, switching the light on.

He had to understand. He wasn't sure why, but it seemed very important that before he took the step and said "I will" to Jane, that he understood what the relationship that he'd always seen as a model for his own was _really_ like.

~~

Joe had obviously been asleep, but seemed pleasantly surprised to see David. He opened the door to his hotel room in invitation. Neither of them said a word as David followed him in.

Joe sat down on his bed, running a hand through his unruly hair. He was wearing a white shirt and light gray boxer shorts. He looked endearing. And sexy, although David thought that he probably shouldn't think that last one. He was only here to talk.

He sat down on the bed next to Joe. There was no need to artificially put any distance between them. That would be cowardly of him. It wasn't that he wanted to be close to Joe. Well, maybe it was a bit. Joe looked warm, and it had been cold outside on the way to the hotel.

They looked at each other, and David knew that instead of thinking about reaching out to see if Joe's skin really was as warm as he thought, he should say something.

"Don't you..." David began. "I mean, did you never want to be with someone you _love_."

He thought about the moment when he realized he didn't love Soo, had maybe never loved her. But he'd had Jane then, a new light in his life. He couldn't imagine not ever having that. Not even having the chance of that. Unless Joe had other relationships. He'd said Katherine knew.

"I _do_ love Katherine," Joe said. "She's an amazing person. She's funny and creative and generous, and I couldn't wish for a better mother for my kids. She's my best friend. I couldn't imagine my life without her."

But this was Jane. All of this was what Jane was to him. His partner in crime. The person who made him laugh, who pulled him back to Earth when his head was too far in the clouds, the person who encouraged him to reach for the stars.

"I just don't sexually desire her," Joe continued. "But with her I have the family I always wanted."

He continued talking about an arrangement, but David only half-listened because he had to tell himself _loudly_ that this was _not_ what Jane was to him. He _did_ desire her. He loved when they cuddled up after sex. He loved the sex. It was good. He loved it. He loved her. He really did. She wasn't just his best friend. Of course sex was only a small part of their life together. They had so much that tied them together. It was a good thing that sex wasn't everything in their relationship.

"I do have sex with Katherine and it's nice," he heard Joe say and he wanted to get up and leave, because Joe was wrong. He had to be wrong. It was different for him. He loved having sex with Jane. He loved Jane.

He wasn't gay.

"And there are guys, one-night-stands mostly, but it's enough. I don't need more. This is the way it is. And it works for us, has for 10 years," Joe finished.

David wanted to leave. It was getting hot in the room. No wonder Joe looked so warm. _so inviting_ David mentally shook his head.

He had come here to understand, and Joe had explained. 

"I lied," David said. "Jane has said I can do what I want tonight." He didn't know why he said it, why he wasn't leaving. Two days from now he was going to marry the woman he loved. And he really did love her, even if the sudden hope in Joe's eyes seemed to burn David up inside.

He could do this. He could do this, and it would be an experience, and he'd come out knowing that what he wanted was Jane. He wasn't Joe.

He couldn't be Joe.

He had to love the woman he married in every way. And if he was right and he did, this night wouldn't matter.

Joe licked his lips and this time it was David who leaned forward.

Joe's hands _were_ warm. On David's face, on his neck, undressing him, caressing him. Every time Joe uncovered a bit of David's skin, heat seeped into David. He wasn't sure how he'd survive this without burning up.

He almost couldn't stand it, but he wanted more, because it wasn't enough.

When Joe had him undressed and lying on the bed and looked down at David, David felt as if Joe had never wanted anything more in his life than David.

Then Joe got out of his shirt and threw it carelessly away and slid down his boxer shorts. He crawled on top of the bed, naked and hard, and David realized that Joe didn't even have to touch him to fill him with even more heat.

Joe leaned down and kissed David and nibbled his ear and whispered. "What do you want to do?"

_Everything_

But they only had tonight. David tried to push away the thoughts of blow jobs in their trailers, lazy nights in bed. Tonight, he told himself, thinking of Jane. Tonight. He did have tonight.

"Fuck me," he said. Because maybe then it would finally be enough.

Joe got out lube and a condom from his nightstand drawer, and David remembered that Joe had done this before, that he slept with guys, that he was gay.

Joe put a hand between his legs, hot, hot like everything about Joe, and David parted them. At first Joe rubbed around his entrance, just his fingertips, stroking his perineum as a pleasurable distraction. It felt surprisingly good. Then suddenly he grabbed David's dick and pushed further inside with one finger.

David's hips moved up and settled down again. He took a gulping breath. Joe was inside of him. Just a finger, but it was both realization and revelation.

He was going to have a man inside of him. Joe was going to fuck him. He reached out to touch Joe's face, and Joe leaned forward to kiss him, not removing his finger or his hand.

When Joe pulled back, David closed his eyes and concentrated simply on the feeling, the heat, of Joe inside of him and around him. Joe stroked his dick, pushed his finger deeper, prepared him for the cock that David hadn't even touched so far.

David didn't think. Not when one finger became two, not when Joe's mouth took in his hard dick, just before a third finger was pushed inside of him. He was just heat and floating and feeling and then the mouth went away and the fingers were removed. David's legs were pressed backwards and something different, larger than a finger was at his entrance.

"David." It was only a whisper, but David couldn't ignore the sweet call and opened his eyes.

Before he could even begin to comprehend how breathtaking Joe was, Joe pushed forward and inside of him, and he was stretched to his limits, but it didn't hurt. Joe didn't stop, didn't falter and then he was fully inside of David.

_Yes_

David wanted to cry, with joy, with relief, with feeling whole and at home and perfect. He moved up and pulled Joe down and even though it strained his back, he needed to kiss Joe. It was a deep, wet kiss, tongues moving inside and out, over lips, against each other.

When he let himself fall back, he was ready to be taken. Joe started moving inside of him, and David groaned and gasped and said "Yes" and "Please" and "Oh God". Joe pushed into him harder and faster until David thought he would _die_ if he didn't come soon.

And then Joe grabbed his dick and stroked him once.

David came with Joe's name on his lips, spurt after spurt of come pulsing out of him onto his chest.

He was only vaguely aware of Joe freezing up and groaning deeply. Then Joe slipped out of David and disappeared before coming back with a washcloth.

David watched as Joe gently cleaned him up. Then Joe put the cloth away and lay down next to David. He put his hand on David's chest and just looked at him.

In that moment David knew what he had to do.


	2. Joe

Joe hadn't lied to David.

He did love Katherine, and the life that he'd chosen had always been enough for him. He had so much, much more than many other people had.

He had great kids, a wonderful wife, a job that he enjoyed, plans for the future.

Being gay was just a small part of who he was. He used to hide it, but after marrying, he noticed that people didn't question him anymore. He could joke about it. He could play Sheppard as the gay man that he was.

And he could fall in love with his co-star. Although that hadn't been a decision so much as something that had just happened. It wasn't the first time that he'd had a crush on a co-star. It never led to anything. And it had never become more, simply because Joe had never had a job that lasted more than a few months.

He had let himself have a crush on David, let himself fantasize about him. He had let David become the dream that would never become a reality or even so much as a wish. And he hadn't wished, because there had never been hope.

Until today.

Today, when David had tapped his arm and asked him to dance, not even knowing who he was.

He hadn't dared to hope. Hope was only for things that could become a reality, things that were _possible_.

He didn't hope when David asked him to dance and meant it. He didn't hope when David returned his kiss. And when David came here, he only hoped for one chance to be with him, one time in his life where he loved and desired the person he had sex with.

He loved David, had loved him for a long time. He'd indulged in his crush so long that it could only become more, after he really got to know David, his quirks, his faults and all the little things that enriched his private fantasy.

Even now, he tried not to hope.

David had left early in the morning after only a few hours in which they'd slept closely entangled. When he'd kissed Joe, Joe hadn't been sure if it was a kiss good-bye. It had almost felt like a promise.

Joe went to work and tried to concentrate and not to think about possibilities and fantasy that could become reality.

The call came at 4 pm. They had to stop shooting for half an hour because nobody could concentrate enough and just had to ask and to talk and to wonder aloud what had happened and ask if anyone had any idea that something was wrong between Jane and David and speculate if maybe he just had cold feet and it would be okay by tomorrow and they should still fly over.

Joe didn't say a word.

He didn't think about the wedding, or not-wedding as was the case now. Instead he thought about that talk he'd had a long, long time ago.

_And if you ever do find that someone..._

Katherine hadn't finished the sentence, but he knew that she had meant it and still meant it so many years later. He'd never really thought he'd take her up on it. Not after 10 years.

But now he knew he would.


End file.
